Bullying Is Really Just Peer Abuse

Bullying has surpassed anything we ever had grown up with. It has even changed in the 6 years between my oldest and youngest. This is a problem. What was once a school yard issue has now become a global epidemic that has not only taken over our school yards but also our homes. By keeping legislation regarding bullying just in the Education Act we are putting more stress on teachers and schools that they are not able to deal with, they are teachers not law enforcement. Bullying does not only happen during the school day or the school year, if we keep the legislation the way it is school officials will have to make themselves available 24/7 365 days a year. Why should they have to do that?? Also by keeping it only in the Education Act we are giving the schools and school boards control over what happens in our homes. This is not going to sit well with many parents, while many will want to be made aware of cyber bullying or bullying happening under their roof many will not want the schools being able to enforce punishment for something that happens outside of the school year/day. This is why it needs to become a police matter. Schools are not trained nor are they equipped to deal with situations that are criminal in nature. Yes they need to work in cooperation with the police/RCMP but, they as teachers are not law enforcement officers.

Another huge part of the problem is the fact that there is nothing in regards to dealing with it as far as real legislation or education. We need to educate youth and adults on how it has changed and all the long term effects it has on those who are bullied. Bullying does more long term mental health harm then child abuse.  Why do you think this is? Simple, because teens and youth look to peers for acceptance and when that need isn’t met it is damaging to the victim. As much as we would love for our youth and teens to want our approval as parents and adults that reality is that’s not how it works.

Bullying, no matter what spin you want to put on it is PEER ABUSE. Call a spade a spade if you will. Let’s turn the tables shall we. If an adult physically harms another adult it is assault and a crime, if an adult sexual assaults or harasses an another adult it is sexual harassment or sexual assault and a crime, if an adult stalks another adult it is a crime, if an adult intentionally tries to ruin a reputation of another adult it is defamation of character and a crime. So why are all these behaviour acceptable for youth and teens to do to each other? This is allowing the behaviour to be seen as acceptable. What we are doing is allowing a pattern of abuse to continue. If these behaviours are allowed to continue without repercussions we will see an increase in abusive relationships in high schools, colleges and universities, we will see an increase in child abuse cases and in domestic violence. You will also see an increase in drug and alcohol abuse/dependency as they try to self medicates as well as an increase mental health illnesses. As these pre- teens and teens grow with the thought that this behaviour is normal, a right of passage, or boys being boys/girls being girls, they will continue to think that as they enter into adulthood. Therefore allowing the cycle of abuse to continue and worsen into future generations. Why you ask?  Because this is where the pattern of abuse is born and formed. If we allow those who “bully” to get away with it at a youth and impressionable age they will continue to escalate and carry on that abuse in power. Let’s face it power in the wrong hands in addictive that can and will be taken advantage of. All these behaviours if allowed to continue will add even more strain to the legal and medical systems that are already spread too thin. You want to stop the cycle then it needs to happen before it starts through proper education and consequences held through proper legislation.

We are seeing this pattern already with the increase in work place bullying and “trolling” online.  Adults are responsible for setting the example and not allowing the pattern/cycle of abuse to continue. Awareness, Education, Legislation and Prevention are all vital parts to the puzzle that can and will fix this growing epidemic. Bullying needs to be addressed the same way as an adult abusing another adult. We just need to add education to the mix.

Bullying and more importantly cyber bullying is evolving faster then we can keep up. Even in the last 6 years I have seen and witnessed the escalation in bullying and the harmful and devastating effects it has had on our youth/teens and their families. Sadly this is something our family knows first hand.

Today our youth are being exposed to technology earlier and earlier however we are not teaching them the dangers and responsibilities that come with it. Did you know the average age a child gets a cell phone is 6 years old? How many parents buy video game consoles and allow online gaming? We are allowing video game systems in their bedrooms yet we tell parents to keep computers in common areas, why?? Video game consoles are in fact computers that can access everything that a computer can access. You allow Internet gaming you are allow your child to play with grown men and women in a space that is behind closed doors.

Technology has changed bullying to a whole new level of assault that we are not keeping up with. It is allow individuals or groups of people to create hate/abuse pages or sites that hundreds even thousands can attack one or a small group of individuals. It allows people to attack and slander others without them even knowing who is doing it. It allows many to take everyday photos and create hurtful messages and post those for everyone to pass around. And if one teen takes an intimate photo and sends it to one person even those are sadly finding their way online. Yes we do have laws to protect those against child pornography however we are not doing enough to educate and change how teens use the Internet and what they put out there for all to see. We need to teach them that their “cyber” footprint is there forever.

As generations have gone through school some curriculum has changed to adapt to the changes in society. However other areas that need to be updated or need to be added are not. For a prime example, we are living in a world where technology is primary focus in youth and teens. Their lives are online. BUT because of this fact we are losing compassion, empathy and kindness. These qualities still need to be in humanity therefore we need to teach these children to have these traits and why they are so important. Another example is we are teaching them to use technology but we are not teaching them the dangers, the manners, their cyber footprint and how it always follows them, and we are not teaching them what not to do.

With the growth in technology we are also seeing a growth in cyber crime. A rise in online abuse, trafficking, child pornography, individuals crashing and hacking into major industries is all happening and our laws and legislation are not keeping up. We do everything from homework to checking our bank accounts to everyday socializing online now. If these behaviours were done face to face there is more to protect these individuals however online there is not.

Legislation needs to be a part of the solution. As younger and younger generations get into government they will have a better understanding but by the time this happens they will be dealing with an epidemic so large it will take generations to fix and be rid of. In mean time, more and more teens will make the choice to end their lives because of the level of abuse they face online at the hands of their peers. As well as the demand for mental health care will increase to a point our system will never be able to keep up resulting in more and more youth/teens falling through the cracks of an already broke system.